Again

As in, 'Here We Go Again'. We started the process in January. John was the motivator this time; I was more ambivilent about starting the merry-go-round again. But once we started, it was like we never stopped; the routine of shots, blood tests and exams became routine very quickly. I didn't take any pictures this time. When the meds arrived, I just put them away and went back to making dinner. The only drama the first night was when Ryan grabbed my full syringe of Lupron (which I had set on the counter and turned away from for *literally* five seconds...why are kids so FAST???) and promptly pulled out the plunger, spilling it all over the counter. Luckily Lupron comes in a multi-dose vial, and there was plenty more to use.
   The other (much bigger) 'oops' moment in the cycle came when I was talking to Katie (one of the IVF nurses) on the phone after one of my appointments. She was calling with my lab results and then mentioned that I would be ready for my egg retrieval in a few weeks. I said 'What egg retrieval? We have four frozen embryos in storage.' Katie: 'Oh.'  Long story short: when my meds were ordered (not by Katie, by the way) someone called in a 'fresh' cycle, which means that we bought a bunch of meds that we didn't even need and could not use for this cycle. They are also non-returnable. The good news: We were still on track for the frozen cycle. A quick call to Walgreens and we were back in business with the 'frozen' cycle meds.
  How did I not recognize that the meds I was taking were for a totally different cycle? I have no idea, but honestly everything starts to blend together after awhile. I felt like the biggest idiot. I'm apologizing to Katie, she's apologizing to me, and the whole thing was just utterly ridiculous. But I am a big believer in the idea that there are no coincidences or mistakes where God is concerned, so more than anything I'm curious to see what this particular glitch will lead to...I have no idea.
  Anyhoo, back to my story. I did the Estrace (estrogen) and Prometrium (progesterone) pills and suppositories and we went on with life. Ryan was not told of our plans to start the process again, but he's smart; he saw the shots and sat through numerous blood draws and ultrasounds, and he put it together. The Girler stories never really stopped, but they really increased in frequency over the last few weeks. He also talks about how he wants 'lots of giggling babies' to live at our house. When I questioned him about how many is 'lots', he said 'eleven'. The other night he said 'I really want Girler to live at our house. What is taking you so long?'
     The embryo transfer happened when I was sick with a severe sinus infection, and John had somehow injured his neck and could barely turn his head. We were pathetic. I was dizzy and had a fever; he was in pain from just breathing. Needless to say, the transfer was not a big picture op for us this time. The good news of the day was that both of the embroys that we thawed for the transfer were viable and looked good, so the other two remained frozen. The bad news: it was the most difficult transfer yet for me. It was very painful and Dr. Awadalla actually stopped midway through so I could take a break. It was the fastest transfer ever, though. Even with the break, we were in and out of the office in under forty-five minutes.
 The pregnancy test is tomorrow morning. I am very nervous and I'm afraid to even venture a guess about the results. I have felt pregnant before and been wrong, so I'm trying to just feel neutral (which is impossible.) By this time tomorrow, we will know for sure.