The End...for now

  My levels have returned to zero.
      As hard as this whole process has been, both John and I have a sense of peace about it at the moment. We have decided to take a little break from the fertility merry-go-round and just enjoy our family for awhile. We still have the four frozen embryos in storage, and we will definitely transfer them in the near future; we could never just leave them chillin' in the freezer forever. But for now, it is a relief to not think about hormone levels, shots, and office visits for a little while.
  Every day, I am amazed by the abundance of blessings that God has given me. I struggle with guilt over wanting more when we already have so much: a loving home, health, a great marriage and of course, our precious little boy. I never want to convey to Ryan (or anyone) that what we have isn't 'enough'. But this process has led to some teachable moments for Ryan and I in regards to God answering prayers. When Ryan asked why we still don't have Girler, we talked about praying for things that are important to us and telling God the desires of our hearts. We also talked about how sometimes we don't get what we want. Sometimes when we ask for something, the answer is no.
We are trying to show that it is ok to be disappointed and sad about something, but then you have to pick yourself up and keep going. So here we go.

Deja Vu

   I started bleeding on Friday the sixteenth. It was about five in the morning. My first thought was 'oh no, this isn't happening' but as the bleeding became heavier I knew the pregnancy did not take. The nurse said that it was too early to do a pregnancy test and I should go in on Monday as scheduled.
  The bleeding had been very heavy all weekend, and we had resigned ourselves to the fact that it would be negative. I actually forgot that we had an appointment and overslept. Luckily John was home and got us up and out the door on time. My level was eleven (should have been around one hundred). I was told it was most likely a chemical pregnancy, where an embryo started to attach to the uterine wall but for some reason was not successful. I would be retested on Wednesday.
 My level on Wednesday (today) was eight. Dr. Awadalla said that we must wait until it returns to zero before starting a frozen cycle, so I'll be retested again on Monday. Then I will be cleared to start taking the Estrace (estrogen) and progesterone pills.
      John is out of vacation days this year, however, so he wants to wait until the new year so he can be with me for the embryo transfer. I'm conflicted about waiting for a few more months vs starting right away. Part of me wants to stay in 'the zone', to keep going while we are in the baby-making mode. The other part wants to have a few months of normalcy that doesn't revolve around lab tests and menstrual cycles. Plus we discovered that we have maxed out our lifetime insurance coverage for fertility treatments. Everything from here forward is out of pocket.

Waiting

   So now we wait. I have to take Prometrium (progesterone) suppositories three times a day. They are making me very sluggish and nauseous, but it is still better than having to take the ginormous shots in the butt that I needed every night when I was pregnant with Ryan (thank God for my friend Pauline for giving those to me, every single night, while Embryo Ryan was burrowing in!)
  There were four good blastocyst embryos that were frozen for us on Thursday. I'm still very hopeful for this attempt but I'm also comforted by the fact that we have some other little guys waiting in the wings. Whereas in the past I always said that the IVF process isn't bad (and it's not, overall), this past round has been a lot harder on me both emotionally and physically. I think that I would have a very hard time starting all over again.
  Ryan continues his love affair with all things Girler. He has now started putting stuffed animals, squishies, Lego creations, etc under his shirt and proudly proclaiming 'I'm having a baby (insert species of toy here)'. He also likes to pick stuff out at the store for Girler, going so far as to throw things into the cart that she would need. At Walmart, she needed: a pack of diapers, a pack of wipes, a toddler toilet seat, and a swimsuit.
  I checked several childrens' books out at the library about pregnancy which are geared to a preschooler's level of understanding. Ryan was fascinated, especially by the idea of an umbilical cord. He doesn't quite get the concept, though; I overheard him explaining to his stuffed cat that a hamburger travels down the cord and then the baby catches it, holds it in its little hands and eats it.

Transfer Day

    Transfer Day went well. Dr. Burwinkle did the transfer today (John privately calls him 'Bullwinkle' and I'm always afraid I will slip up and do that when I see him). He first gave us the rundown on our embryos: two that were great for transfer, with eight or nine possibles to freeze. (We were pretty happy with that number, although having that many potential children does make us a bit nervous. But we have to remind ourselves that it takes a lot for an embryo to get from the blast stage to an actual baby in our arms, and after all of the embryos that we had last time, we were left with nothing.)
  We were left alone in the room for a good half hour, and there is nothing to do in there. So I took pictures. Brace yourself, they are spectacular:

Ultrasound machine, to guide the transfer catheter.

My view from the table, #1

My view from the table, #2

John pretending to knock on the window that connects to the lab.

My looking crazed.

There were other pictures. Many others. Sadly, these were the best. :-)

  I was concerned about how this transfer was going to go, since the last one was so difficult. The surgery that I had to open the cervix did its job, though, and Dr. B was able to transfer the embryos on the second try. (First try, with the flexible catheter, was unable to pass through the Cervix of Concrete, so he had to exchange it for one made of rebar, apparently; it was a little uncomfortable but much, much better than last time.)
  And then they were in, our two perfect little embryos. Thing One and Thing Two. Frick and Frack. Mickey and Minnie. (We haven't thought of a good nickname yet, and it is probably better to wait a little while before we do.) But here they are:

They are the sort of blobby, whitish things toward the middle/bottom. (Awesome way to describe your children, no? ;-) The big black thing in the middle: full bladder that I had to have to do the transfer. Fun times.

 Then we went home so I could spend the rest of the day with my feet up while my wonderful hubby and adorable boy went and did Daddy and Son stuff. 

Oh, one last picture of us:

Monday

   Monday morning was a bit stressful. We still had not received a phone call from the lab by 730am, and our appointment was scheduled for 815am (we were told to wait for the phone call to see if we needed to come in, or if we were going to transfer on Wednesday). Finally we paged Dr. A, who got a hold of the staff, who were locked outside of the building and could not get in. Oy. We're not sure what the issue was, but it all worked out ok. We were told that there was still ten good embryos and our transfer would be on Wednesday.

Embryos

     The good news from the IVF lab: Eighteen of the nineteen eggs fertilized! This was awesome news. Since there are so many, the goal is to wait until Wednesday for the embryo transfer. The longer the little guys can bake in their comfy petri dish, the better chance that they have for sticking once back in the Mother Ship (as I have started calling myself-- because let's face it, this whole process sounds like something out of science fiction!)
 If for some reason they do not do well, or there aren't as many to work with come Monday morning, then the docs will want to transfer on Monday morning to salvage as many as they can.
 Grow, kids, grow!

Egg Retrieval Day

     Today was egg retrieval day. After a bit of drama the night before (I could not find the Valium pill that had been prescribed for me; after searching the entire house, I called Dr. A and he told me they would give me something via IV when I got there), the whole shebang went very smoothly. We had Katie, my favorite IVF nurse, taking care of me. I was all set up with my IV and John was sent off to do his part of the deal. Katie took me into the OR suite (I took zero pictures this round, but it was the same room we were in a cycle or so ago, with the clouds painted on the ceiling) and we waited for Dr. Scheiber to start the transfer. You are never sure which doc will be doing your procedure until they walk in the door, but I like them all equally. Dr. S was detained for a few minutes, however, and I began to feel as if the room were closing in on me. I guess there is a reason they give you Valium before the procedure. Katie noticed my shift in mood and got the order for the Versed (calming medicine) to be administered while we waited. After that, I don't remember anything else except waking up in the recovery room (although Katie told me that I sat up, mid-procedure, looked around, then laid back down.)
   The good news is: nineteen eggs! I was very surprised, since I never felt bloated or tender like I had in the past. We were told that the lab would call us the next day to tell us how many had fertilized.

Update

  The egg retrieval will be this Friday. I had to order more medicine so that I would have enough Menopure for another night, plus I had to add another Ovidrel to the order as well. The doc wants me to take two Ovidrel shots tonight (Wednesday), although I'm not sure why. I just do as I'm told and inject according to schedule.
 I had to have dental implant surgery today, so I'm very sore and achy from that. Otherwise I feel fine-- no bloating or ovarian tenderness, but I'm told that after tonight's Ovidrel (a double dose, no less) I should be feeling ready to pop.
 I have Vicoden for the mouth pain, a very well-behaved little boy (who actually napped for TWO HOURS today for his daddy!) and a wonderful hubby who took the day off to help me out. Life is good.

A New Start

   It has been awhile since I last updated. We started the IVF process again on August 4th with the Lupron injections. I almost forgot which day to start. I had pretty much put fertility thoughts out of my head in the time between tries. I focused on John and Ryan and how good my life is currently. I guess I was getting myself into the mindset of "if it works, great; if not, life is still good". Fertility treatments and the associated stress can mess with your head, so it is so important to remember what you already have and to count your blessings.
  So when I started the process again, it was with less fanfare than last time. No pictures of the medications arriving. No detailed journaling. Just living day to day and giving myself a shot at night. It is just easier this way.
  I've been taking the Gonal-F (same drug as Follistim, just different manufacturer) for almost two weeks, and the past few days the docs added in a drug called Menapure to help spur the eggs' growth some more. The eggs are not growing as quickly as they did the previous times, although there has been steady progress. I am currently awaiting a call from the office to learn the results this morning's bloodwork. This will determine whether the egg retrieval will be this Thursday or Friday.

Mama Duck

While I have been dealing with my own baby drama (or lack thereof), another mother's journey caught my attention. A female mallard duck built a nest in amongst the tulips and daffodils around our mailbox. Last year I made a circular flowerbed around the mailbox, and I guess she liked the raised bed and the cover that the flowers offered. At first it was hard to tell how many eggs she had laid, but one day she was off the nest and I took a peek: nine eggs! A few days later, there were three more eggs, making an even dozen of duck babies cooking under our mailbox.
 I found myself relating to this bird mama and the struggles that she went through to have her babies. In the weeks to come, Mama Duck endured heavy rain, sleet, high winds, a tornado warning, frost, and temps in the 80s (Welcome to Ohio! If you don't like the weather, wait a few minutes.) I watched as she sat, day after day, only leaving to go eat in the evenings. She stayed with her eggs even when curious children poked their faces into her nest; when rival ducks tried to invade; when the lawnmower came dangerously close to her home (sorry, Mama, if the grass gets too long, the Homeowner's Association is going to kick us all out). This duck somehow knew, without the benefit of formal parenting classes or What to Expect When You're Expecting, that she was supposed to stay with those eggs and protect them, no matter how boring or uncomfortable that task became. I started bringing her bird seed and water in the mornings (and learned John was bringing her bread in the evenings). I felt that she and I were on similar paths as we followed our biological clocks and insticts and attempted to have babies.
 I started feeling great sadness for her as the weeks stretched on and no babies emerged from the eggs. I would check anxiously every evening for a sign of hatching, but as the days passed, there were fewer and fewer eggs remaining in the nest. A quick Google search told me that mallard eggs generally hatch in about twenty-eight days, and as eggs start to ferment the mother will break the shells and move them away from her nest, in an attempt to prevent the smell from attracting predators to her remaining babies. It broke my heart to see less eggs every day and more remants of broken shells left in their place. Only a few intact eggs remained, and I wondered what would happen if none of them hatched. I knew that I would be very sad; what, if anything, would she feel? I realized that I was projecting my human emotions onto an animal, but I hurt for her all the same.
   Then one day, we had a visitor to the back porch. I heard a pecking sound and looked out to see Mama Duck tapping on the sliding door with her beak. I looked out and there beside her was one fuzzy little duckling, the most beautiful baby duck that I had ever seen. It was as if she was presenting it to me, saying 'Here's my baby! I did it!'
 Mama, Daddy and Baby Duck come to our back door every evening for some birdseed or crumbs of bread. And crazy as it sounds, these birds have given me hope to keep trying for our own little duckling.

Surgery

 My surgery was on May 20th. As promised, it was extremely easy (for me, anyway. John was quite a nervous wreck, poor guy.) Dana and Jim watched Ryan and my parents met us at the hospital. I was feeling really relaxed. The set-up (IV, forms, talking with the anesthesiologist, etc) took awhile, then right around show time, we were told that the surgery would be delayed for an hour. But the actual procedure took about 15 minutes. I woke up quickly, felt great, and we were home by early afternoon.
 Dr. Awadalla said that the cervix opened quickly and easily, and he thinks that this will be a good omen for our future pregnancy attempt(s).

Consultation

     I had my blood test and met with Dr. Awadalla. He said that my cervix is very narrow and tight and he recommends having a procedure to open it up. It is called a hysteroscopy, and he said that I will be asleep for the procedure, which will be done at Christ Hospital.
   My hormone level dropped down to two.
   Tonight, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and out of control of my own body. It seems like one part is more defective than the next.

A New Start

     I awoke on Wednesday feeling sad but ready to make a fresh start. I did 4 1/2 miles on the treadmill (something I  hadn't done regularly in awhile, due to swollen ovaries and overall laziness) and recommitted myself to Weight Watchers (I had fallen into the 'I'f I'm Pregnant A Few Extra Reeses Easter Eggs Won't Matter To My Waistline Anyway' mentality in recent weeks, and  fallen off the portion-control wagon).
I decided that if I wasn't pregnant, there was a reason. God doesn't make mistakes and always has a plan. I figure that I should be working on myself to make my body the best possible home for child. It gave me a new-found sense of purpose.

Results Are In

     John and I went for my blood test on Tuesday. We just had a good feeling about the results. I had been having some symptoms (peeing a lot, slight nausea, feeling SO tired) that we felt optimistic about the outcome. I even had John take a picture of my blood draw to record for posterity:

We knew the results wouldn't be in for a few hours, and we had some time to kill before picking Ryan up at preschool, so we went window shopping at Buy Buy Baby. We laughed at the sheer amount of baby stuff there is out there, and talked about how looking at it all wasn't as overwhelming this time around. We discussed what type of crib we would like (since Ryan's is now is headboard and footboard on his full size bed...or will be, once we attach it!) and tried out a few strollers, since Ryan's is just about shot. We picked up Ryan and headed home.

We were totally unprepared for how devastating is was to be told the test was negative. Technically, it was positive, but a 'good' hormone level would have been around 100; mine was eight. With John beside me, I listened as the sympathetic nurse told us how sorry she was, asked if we had any questions, and inquired what time on Thursday I could come into the office to have another blood test and talk to the doctor. I told her I would have to call her back; I just couldn't think at the moment. Luckily for us, our friend Maggie was here and graciously offered to take Ryan back to her house so that we could have a chance to talk. (Ryan heard her and had his shoes on in a flash.)

We didn't really know what to say. Both of us had been so sure of a positive result that it was hard to accept. The nurse had said that Dr. Awadalla wanted to recheck my lab values on Thursday, to make sure that the levels were decreasing back to zero. We decided to just wait to see what he had to say and then move forward from there.

Embryo Transfer Day

     Today was embryo transfer day. John and I agreed that it felt like deja-vu: didn't we just do this? Change into scrubs. Put on surgical hairnets and booties. Bring camera for silly pictures.  :-)
     The lab had six frozen embryos and the plan was to thaw the first three to see if any were viable. They were not. So Dr. Awadalla had them thaw the other set of three, and those looked good. He said that transferring two would be his recommendation; using all three would be 'aggressive' in his opinion. We had conflicting emotions, since the third embryo could not be refrozen and it was a use-it-or-lose-it situation. John and I talked about it and decided to go transfer the two 'best' embryos.
      Dr. Awadalla did our transfer today. He had to make several attempts to get the transfer catheter in place because he said my cervix was 'extremely tight'. Although the catheter was, in reality, very soft and flexible, I felt like he was trying to use a McDonald's drinking straw. I felt a lot of painful jabs and pokes, but he still wasn't making any progress. He tried different sizes of catheter, repostitioned the speculum several times, and used some sort of instrument to attempt to realign my cervix. Nothing worked.
     He finally told me that he was going to give me some medication to help with pain and to relax me. Although I wasn't in terrible pain, I was very uncomfortable and sore and ready to try anything to get the transfer done successfully. So the nurse gave me a shot of Demerol (narcotic pain med) and Phenergan (anti-nausea med often mixed with Demerol) in my butt and we waited about 1/2 hour for it to kick in. During this time, John and I got bored and I started taking pictures of our surroundings. Brace yourself: they were SO exciting:

My view from the table. I did like the sky and clouds on the ceiling. At least for the first hour.Then I wished there was an in-flight movie.

That little door in the wall connected us to the lab. Every few minutes, someone would poke their head thru there to check on us. I resisted the urge to yell 'PEEK-A-BOO!' to scare them since they (literally) had our childrens' lives in their hands.

Ultrasound machine.

Demerol is kicking in. Feeling goooooooood. 

Yes, we really were that bored.

After the meds had time to kick in, Dr. A came back and started the process again. He still had some trouble with the catheter, and it was still quite uncomfortable for me,  but he was able to get the embryos transferred. 

Here we are with our now-empty embryo dish and a photo of the three embryos:

Dr. A did tell us that if I have to have a transfer again (ie- this doesn't take), I would need to be put under general anesthesia due to my tight cervix. He said that he has never had this much trouble with a transfer in all of his years of experience. Leave it to me to be the medical anomaly!
  I slept most of the day while my amazing hubby cleaned the house and took care of Ryan (after Granddad picked him up from preschool and took him to McDonalds for a Happy Meal).  I'm a lucky girl!
 I'm very sore tonight but otherwise feel pretty good.  It will be interesting to read this blog later, when I'm not still high on Demerol. I keep dozing off while waiting for photos to load, so Lord only knows what I'm writing!

Bloodwork

 I went for bloodwork on the 6th (John and Mom's birthdays) and even with taking estrogen supplements three times a day, my estrogen level was still low. So now I am taking the Estrace orally three times a day and vaginally at night. I am also back on the Prometrium three times a day vaginally. Dr. Awadalla did an ultrasound and said my uterine lining looks 'really good', even with the lower estrogen levels. Things are still a 'go' for next Tuesday for the embryo transfer. Dr. A said that they will thaw the first three embryos, and if they do not look good, then they will thaw the other three. He said out of a batch of three frozens, you usually get one or two viable embryos.
     Humana is refusing to pay for the embryo thawing, although they did approve the transfer. I talked to Dr. A's office and they said that this is common and that the office will write off the cost of the thawing. It is so strange to me, though; the thawing is a delicate, vital part of the procedure. How can they approve the transfer and not the thaw? Oh well, at least we will not be responsible for a huge microwave bill!

A New Start

     Dr. Awadalla called Friday afternoon and gave us a pep talk: how rare it is to get pregnant on the first IVF try, how everything looks good and how he feels that we will be successful on another try. He told us to think about it over the weekend and to call the office when we were ready to try again.
 I called this morning and we started the process again. I was prescribed Estradiol pills, which I will take three times a day until the pregnancy test. I will have bloodwork and an ultrasound on April 6th, and if all goes well, I will have a 'frozen cycle transfer' (the embryos will be thawed out and then transferred as they were last time) on April 12th.

Loss

 Ater having very strong cramping all day yesterday (which the fertility nurse said could be totally normal), I awoke at 530am to discover that I was bleeding. I called a very sleepy Dr. Awadalla and he said to come in for a bloodtest today. John stayed home from work to go with me.
  We dropped Ryan off at school and arranged for Granddad to pick him up after school was over. They had a great time-- McDonald's for lunch, and then Ryan got a new squishy toy at Walmart. :)
   We talked to the nurse around 430pm and she said that the pregnancy test was negative. Based on the lab results, it appears that the embryos did not even implant at all. While we were not suprised by the results (I've been bleeding heavily all day now), it was still very sad news. We really had high hopes for these little embryos, and had looked forward to meeting the babies they would have become.

Cool video

  Nothing really new to report. Feeling really energetic, which I attribute to my prenatal vitamins and the beautiful sunny day!
 I did find an awesome video showing the stages of development from fertilization to birth:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoisqOGQIVE&feature=player_embedde

Embryo Update

Well, either we heard wrong yesterday or some of the embryos split, because when the nurse called today she said we have SIX embryos to be frozen! I'm feeling very overwhelmed at the thought of so many potential children in those test tubes. But I'm very grateful that we had such a successful egg retrieval this time.
 I'm feeling good today, just a little sore from the hyperstimulated ovaries but otherwise fine.

  I added the Lilypie ticker to the top of the blog, but it seems a little misleading. Although we've been trying the fertility-treatment route for a month, we actually been trying to conceive (TTC) for a few years now. But I decided to use the start date for the Lupron as our TTC start date just to make things simpler.

Embryos Transferred!

  Today was Embryo Transfer Day! There were six embryos today, and the two 'best' ones were transferred. The remaining embryos were not as developed as the others, but the lab will continue to watch them and give us an update tomorrow.
  First, John and I had to change into surgical scrubs (for him; gown for me), foot covers, and hair covers. Of course I took pictures:

The transfer itself involved me lying on the exam table, in stirrups, while the nurse held an ultrasound wand on my abdomen. The doctor was given the two embryos in a syringe with a long, flexible catheter. He guided it into the uterus through the cervix, and we were able to watch the whole thing on the ultrasound monitor. The whole process was uncomfortable at times but not painful. And seeing the two little embryos deposited into the womb was so cool!

The embryos are the whitish blobs in the center, slightly to the left.

 We were left in the room for awhile so I could lie flat before we were discharged. We started to get slap-happy with the camera:

Holding the now-empty dish that the embryos were in

Me holding the printout with a picture of our two little beans. Aren't they cute?

Things just really degraded from there..LOL..

 The only update I have today is that our appointment tomorrow will be at 10:30am instead of 8:30am. But I did find some pictures on the IRH website that shows the egg-retrieval equipment:
http://www.cincinnatifertility.com/infertility-treatment/in-vitro-fertilization/in-vitro-photos

   We got a call at 6:20am this morning from the fertility clinic lab, telling us that our embryo transfer would be Tuesday morning instead of today. We have eight embryos that are going to blast stage! The docs wanted to give them a little more time to grow and 'cook' before they were transferred. This is actually a good thing, since it means we have time to let them mature a little more (if they didn't look this good, they would have transferred them today to give them the best chance of taking. "Good" is a relative term, though, since I clearly recall Dr. Awadalla telling me last time around that the two embryos we were transferring were 'not the best' he'd seen; one of those turned out to be Ryan!)
 The progesterone suppositories that I'm taking three times a day are certainly doing their job to prepare the uterus for pregnancy. I feel like I'm already pregnant! My breasts are so tender that my clothes and the water in the shower hurts them, and I just feel like I'm in a nesting mode.

Thirteen Embryos!

We have thirteen embryos! Of the nineteen eggs that were collected yesterday, sixteen were able to go to ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection, where the sperm is injected directly into the egg). Thirteen of those fertilized and now we have thirteen little embryos cooking in a dish!
 I started on the Prometrium vaginal suppositories this morning, and I will take them three times a day until further notice. These will help prepare the uterine lining for implantation.
 The IVF office will call us at 7am on Sunday. We are tentatively scheduled for an 8:30am appointment for the embryo transfer. If there are still several embryos left at that stage, they may want to wait until Tuesday for the insertion,  to allow the embryos to grow to the blastocyst stage.

Egg Retrieval Day!

  Today I had my egg retrieval. I was prescribed a Valium to take at 715am, and our appt was a 745am. By the time we got to the office, I had already fallen asleep! They got me set up with an IV, gown, booties and hair net (and I forgot my camera!) and the nurse gave me Versed, which is what is called a 'twilight sedation' drug (you are not quite out but not quite awake, either. It also has an amnesiac effect.) I remember moving to a bed in the OR, having my legs put up in stirrups and feeling a clamping feeling. The next thing that I remember was waking up in the recovery room, where I slept for awhile. I was given some crackers and Coke, my IV was removed and we were sent home. (John had given his sample while I was in surgery.)
  The final tally: nineteen eggs! Dr. Scheiber, who did our procedure, said it was an 'above average' number. Woot! I feel like we aced a test! (We had TWENTY-NINE last time, though! I'm slipping. :-) We will get a phone call tomorrow to hear how our eggs-and-sperm are doing. The embryo(s) that are (hopefully) created will be inserted on either Sunday or Tuesday, depending on how things look in the lab over the next 24 hours.
     I'm extremely sore tonight, much more so than last time. I slept most of the day and when I got up, I was suprised by how stiff I feel. The nurse told me to take extra strength Tylenol for pain, and it does help a little, but I miss being able to take my Advil tonight!

  Thursday is the day! I went for my appt today at the West Chester office. I took Ryan with me, and when Dr. Scheiber saw him, he said 'Didn't I put him back in (as an embryo)? I aimed good,didn't I?" :0)
Tonight I take my one dose of Ovidrel at 9pm, then we have to be at the IRH office at 745am. We're making progress!

     Things continue to go well. I had another office visit today for bloodwork and an ultrasound. Dr. Awadalla said that he saw nine 'great-looking' egg follicles! I am to continue the Follistim shots at the 225 unit dose for the next four days, then return for another visit on Saturday. If everything goes according to plan, I may be ready for the egg harvesting next Tuesday! (I also need to set up the school for the carnival Tuesday evening....this may take some creative planning.)  :-)

Follistim

 Tonight I started my round of Follistim (the drug that the pharmacy substituted for Gonal F), the drug that is supposed to 'rev-up' my ovaries into producing lots and lots of eggs. My mom and dad came over to visit, and Mom came upstairs with me while I did my shot. I used the special Follistim injector pen, which came with an instruction book and a ton of steps. I had read through it yesterday to get the general idea but I still took my time to make sure that I did everything right. Mom said it was a good thing that she didn't have to do all of these steps to get pregnant or I might not be here!  :-)
 The medicine stung a bit after I gave it, but otherwise it was pretty painless. My abdomen did feel really heavy about ten minutes after the injection, but that seems to have passed now. Three more days of this drug (at the 225 unit dose) and then I return for another ultrasound to determine the next step.

Progress

 I had my first ultrasound today, along with bloodwork to check my hormone levels. The blood tests aren't back yet but the doctor said my ovaries looked good and we are good to go for the next phase. I will continue the Lupron for two more nights (tonight and tomorrow) and will then start the Gonal-F (which the pharmacy substituted for a different med that our insurance will pay for...I have to see what that one is called, but it is supposed to work the same.) I go back for another ultrasound next Tuesday when Ryan is in preschool.

 My period started today, so I will go to the fertility clinic office on Wednesday to have bloodwork and an ultrasound to determine if I am "down-regulated". If I am, I will stop the Lupron and start on the next round of drugs. I am supposed to continue the nightly Lupron shots until my office visit.
  The shots have been going well, with the exception of two nights ago. I was rushing around, trying to get Ryan ready for bed and decided to just give myself the shot while standing up. There is a reason that they tell you to sit. I couldn't get a good angle and it hurt like hell. So I sat down and tried again. It was easier but it still stung much more than usual and it hurt for a good twenty minutes afterward. Last night I did it in my usual reclined position and had no problems. Lesson learned: stop rushing, take the time to do it properly and it will work out fine. (Kind of applies to life in general, too.)

First Shot

 I did the first Lupron injection this evening. I had no problems and it was actually much easier than it was last time around. Last time, I remember hesitating and getting a little panicky before the first shot, and I started to wonder if I could even do it. This time, I didn't hesitate and didn't even feel a thing. The site (to the side of my belly button, on my left) did itch afterward, which I remember from last time, but otherwise it was an uneventful start to this journey. I feel confident for the days ahead.

How We Make a Baby

My medications arrived via Fed Ex on Wednesday, February 9th. Ryan was very interested in seeing what was in the box, but once he saw it wasn't toys he quickly lost interest and took off with the cardboard box.

Welcome to Our Blog!

Welcome to our Baby-Making Blog! I wanted to chronicle our fertility adventures again, just as I did when we were trying for our first baby, Ryan. (Otherwise Mommy-brain will strike and I won't remember a thing!)
  Currently we are in the pre-activity phase, aka hurry-up-and-wait. John gave his semen sample a few weeks ago, l had my bloodwork and we both signed a flurry of forms. We are both on Doxycycline (an antibiotic to clear out any STDs that we might have, according the the IVF nurses- LOL).  I talked to the mail-order pharmacy today and my fertility injections will arrive via Fed-Ex next Wednesday. Now there is nothing to do but wait until next Thursday, when I will start giving myself the first injections of Lupron.
Once again, we are working with Dr. Sharif Awadalla and the awesome folks over at Cincinnati Fertility Center.