My levels have returned to zero.
As hard as this whole process has been, both John and I have a sense of peace about it at the moment. We have decided to take a little break from the fertility merry-go-round and just enjoy our family for awhile. We still have the four frozen embryos in storage, and we will definitely transfer them in the near future; we could never just leave them chillin' in the freezer forever. But for now, it is a relief to not think about hormone levels, shots, and office visits for a little while.
Every day, I am amazed by the abundance of blessings that God has given me. I struggle with guilt over wanting more when we already have so much: a loving home, health, a great marriage and of course, our precious little boy. I never want to convey to Ryan (or anyone) that what we have isn't 'enough'. But this process has led to some teachable moments for Ryan and I in regards to God answering prayers. When Ryan asked why we still don't have Girler, we talked about praying for things that are important to us and telling God the desires of our hearts. We also talked about how sometimes we don't get what we want. Sometimes when we ask for something, the answer is no.
We are trying to show that it is ok to be disappointed and sad about something, but then you have to pick yourself up and keep going. So here we go.
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